Friday, May 9, 2014

Mark Wahlberg and I

Mark and I have something in common.

We are both in the process of getting unwanted tattoos burned off.

The simple discomfort of getting a tattoo pales in comparison to laser removal pain. And, it takes some time to completely rid one's self of a tattoo.

My process has taken well over 53 months. (The company I use makes me wait 6-8 weeks between "laserings". Thank goodness. Because it gives me enough time to "forget" the pain of the removal.)

I have just had my nineteenth treatment. At most, one more. But, I think I am done.

If you would like to know how the laser feels: imagine several sewing machine needles heated to their hottest, bluest point. Then, imagine putting your body part where you tattoo is under those heated needles, turning the "sewing machine" on to its fastest pace, keeping your body part there long enough for the burning of the laser to bubble the colors of the tattoo (so that they will come to the surface of the skin, then eventually slough off) and that is how it feels. Oh, and be prepared for the pain to just go on, and on and on.

(Sometimes, S-1 goes with me to get lasered. She usually gets a pretty good kick out of seeing me in so much pain. The last couple of times, though, she has been more compassionate and has not laughed at me, saying, "I can see how really bad that hurts you." I wonder if my screams and tears were any indication?)

My tattoo is/was on the top of my right wrist- I used to have three people who were very significant in my life. This tattoo was a combination of those three names. I had a second small tattoo on the underside of my wrist also lasered off.

So, a word to the wise: if you are considering getting a tattoo, be extra sure that you will want yours forever and for the eternities.

Because it hurts WORSE THAN THE FREAKING HECKING DICKENS to get one lasered off.