Thursday, July 2, 2015

"Live your ammends"

I have never been to an AA meeting. In fact, I really know very little about AA. But, I learned something very significant about it the other night while watching "Private Practice" on TV. I found this synopsis online of Tuesday's show:

"Throughout the episode Violet spends a lot of time in a group therapy session for grief, listening to others’ stories about what they’re going through, and in her office, trying to council her newest patient, a man named Adam. During his session Adam’s regret and grief reveal that he shot a man eleven years ago while he was attempting a robbery, but despite the doctor-patient confidentiality policy, Violet cannot resist the urge to learn more about the shooting. 
When she discovers just what happened, she feels her own regret at her actions and goes to Sheldon with her uncertainty, who tells her that she’s become too close, that now she’s judging her patient and needs to get him to a new therapist. She turns to Charlotte, asking how does one make things right if you have killed someone. Charlotte explains to her that you may not be able to apologize, but it’s best to live your amends and make yourself a better person. After apologizing when she loses control and blasts Adam for his apparent lack of guilt, she shares Charlotte’s insight, and as Sheldon told her to do in the first place, finds him a new therapist."

That is the great lesson I learned: sometimes, we do things for which we cannot apologize. The person whom we have hurt may no longer be around. Or, that person may not be able to accept our apology even if we do try. So, the best thing we can do is to "live your amends": be truly sorry for what we have done, be the best person we can be, help others, be happy and joyful, never repeat the mistakes we initially made, and "make yourself a better person".