Thursday, February 18, 2016

I have miles to go before I sleep

** I have felt so very sad these past several days. Two family members have been put on hospice home-care, to die. I have wept more this week than I care to remember.

Today, as I was walking into home, at the end of a disquieting, bombastic day, I was, again, reflecting on these two family members and how hard this is on each of us immediate family members, to deal with these losses. I lamented and wondered why life had to be so hard and why it has to be so sad and shattering to lose people for whom we care and love so much.

I believe it was the prophet Joseph Smith who said if we knew the beauties of our next estate, we would feel more sorry for ourselves to have to stay here on planet earth than we would be to die and to move on.

That gave me great comfort.

** One of my former students was Sadie Wells, the young sister missionary who was recently killed in an automobile accident in Pennsylvania. Her funeral was held yesterday.

One of my educational colleagues serves as Sadie's Stake President. I talked to him today to ask how things were going for Sadie's family. (He was the one who held the necessary responsibility to tell her family about Sadie's accident and subsequent death- he said he had never been around so much sadness.)

When I talked with him also about the funeral, he said that Elder Bednar had been asked to attend it, to offer hope and solace to Sadie's family. My friend said he had never before in his life heard such an amazing and beautifully touching testimony of the Savior than the one offered by Elder Bednar at the funeral.

I love when people talk about the Savior, share their experiences of him and with him. I am so grateful for him, for his great love for each of us, that he would come here to earth, as a pure and sweet baby, live his life, complete his divine ministry, then give himself to the events of the Garden of Gethsemane and then on the cross, at Golgotha.

I scarce can even think about those events, let alone write them down but that I am not once again brought to weeping. That he would suffer such pain and sorrow, out of abiding love and concern for each of us, to give us the Atonement and Resurrection is more than I can even take in. I love and revere him. I hope to become more like him. I know how far I have fallen short today. I hope to be and do better tomorrow.