Monday, April 25, 2016

Lesson learned

Rebecca wanted to be my friend until she realized that she, a "straight" woman, loved spending more time with me than she did with her own husband. For some reason, that made her put a whole lot of emotional and physical distance between us. She "accused" me of having gay feelings for her.

The truth of the matter was she had developed "gay" feelings for me and was unsure what to do with that- I know this for a fact because she let me read her journal in which she wrote, at length, about how she felt.

I love Rebecca, she is one of very few people who has truly impacted my life forever, I think about her almost every day, but I have never had gay feelings towards her. It hurt a lot when she felt like she had to distance herself from me. She often also gave off the impression that I was not good enough for her because I was gay- that angered me.

Something else that has bothered me about Rebecca was that she loved spending time with the chaplain, Kevin Andy and his wife. They were into thinking how "hot" it would be to have sex with animals- are you freaking kidding me?? Bestiality was fine but having a gay friend? Oh, we will have none of that.

In reality, I should have been the one to put emotional distance between Rebecca and me.